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Dance Like No
One is Watching
My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister's bureau and lifted out
a tissue-wrapped package. "This," he said, "is not a slip. This
is lingerie." He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip. It was
exquisite; silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace.
The price tag with an astronomical figure on it was still attached. "Jan
bought this the first time we went to New York, at least 8 or 9 years ago. She
never wore it. She was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is
the occasion." He took the slip from me and put it on the bed with the
other clothes we were taking to the mortician.
His hands lingered on the soft material for a moment, then he slammed the drawer
shut and turned to me. "Don't ever save anything for a special occasion.
Every day you're alive is a special occasion.
I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that followed when I
helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores that follow an unexpected
death. I thought about them on the plane returning to California from the
Midwestern town where my sister's family lives.
I thought about all the things that she hadn't seen or heard or done. I thought
about the things that she had done without realizing that they were special. I'm
still thinking about his words, and they've changed my life.
I'm reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting on the deck and admiring the view
without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I'm spending more time with my
family and friends and less time in committee meetings.
Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experience to savor, not endure.
I'm trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them. I'm not
"saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for every special
event-such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, the first camellia
blossom. I wear my good blazer to the market if I feel like it.
My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of
groceries without wincing. I'm not saving my good perfume for special parties;
clerks in hardware stores and tellers in banks have noses that function as well
as my party-going friends.
"Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their grip on
my vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear
and do it now. I'm not sure what my sister would've done had she known that she
wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we all take for granted.
I think she would have called family members and a few close friends. She might
have called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences for past
squabbles. I like to think she would have gone out for a Chinese dinner, her
favorite food. I'm guessing - I'll never know.
It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew that my
hours were limited. Angry because I put off seeing good friends whom I was going
to get in touch with - someday. Angry because I hadn't written certain letters
that I intended to write - one of these days.
Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my husband often enough how much I truly love
him. I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that would
add laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning when I open my eyes, I
tell myself that it is special.
Every day, every minute, every breath truly is a gift from God. You've got to
dance like nobody's watching, and love like it's never going to hurt....
People say true friends must always hold hands, but true friends don't need to
hold hands because they know the other hand will always be there.
~ Author Unknown ~
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