HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY

At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."

Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

Finish all your sentences with, "In accordance  with the prophecy."

Don't use any punctuation

As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

Sing along at the opera.

Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

When the money comes out of the ATM, scream, "I won! I won! Third time this week!!!"

When leaving the zoo, start running towards the  parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"

Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity....

Send this to everyone in your address book, even if they sent it to you or have asked you not to send them stuff like this.

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~ author unknown ~