Funny Things Kids Say

featured on BlessingsforLife.com

Don't you just love the funny things our children can come up with sometimes?  They speak the most innocent and precious words that either warm our hearts or make us laugh with delight.  If a child you know has said something that tickled your funny bone, and you would like to share it with our readers, please contact us.

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When my father passed away recently, my oldest son 8, asked his granny, if he could have Pawpaw's insoles? He followed that with, "Pawpaw won't need them, your feet never hurt in Heaven." My mother thought it was the sweetest thing.

submitted by Teri Folks

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While trying to keep the Christmas focus on Jesus' Birthday instead of Santa and presents, my husband and I were explaining to our three and a half year old, that we celebrate Jesus' gift of love by giving to others at Christmas.  Our precious little girl went straight to her room and picked up her favorite doll, came back and said "Here mommy, give this to Jesus for Christmas, and tell him I'd like a baby that cries this year."

submitted by Mariahtaylorsmom

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I have a precious 4 year old daughter named Kelsey and the other day we adopted a male cocker spaniel (adorable little dog).  I was bathing my daughter in the bath tub when suddenly the dog came running in, my daughter started screaming to the top of her lungs - "No mama, he can not come in!!"  "But honey, I answered, he is only a dog!"  "But mom, he is a BOY!!, and I am naked!"

submitted by M. Robinson

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We were visiting a new church, and they happened to have a speaker that night.  Aerial, our five year old can barely see over the pews up to the stage where the speaker is praying.  She notices he is finnished, and the entire church is silent.  Then the pastor, who is sitting down in a chair behind the man who is standing there speaking at the pulpit begins speaking.  (Aerial cannot see him).  Her eyes grew to about the size of half dollars, and she turned to me and asked, "IS That GOD Talking MOMMY?"  

submitted by fulltimemommy3

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My 4 year old daughter and I were listening to a Christian radio station while driving in the car.  The man on the radio said that some people only call on God when they are in desperate need.  My daughter looked at me and said, " I didn't know God had a phone, can I call Him too?"  I had some explaining to do, now she understands that we talk to God through our Prayers, anytime, anywhere.

submitted by Kim Hall

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My daughter, then 7, had received a heart shaped box of candy from her nana for valentines day. Her brother and 2 cousins had received the same gift. She left her box of candy at nana's for several days and when we finally went to pick it up...she looked in it to find that all but one piece was gone. She looked at me and slammed the lid on the box and said..."Those Chocoholics!!! ate all my candy!"  

submitted by Kim Henderson, Flat Rock, NC

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While trying to serve our two year old a vegetable she didn't like at the dinner table, she boldly stood straight up in her high chair and proclaimed to everyone in the family, "I go OUTSIDE!"  And she had every intention of leaving the house.  I think it was the spinach.

submitted by Michelle Jones

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After an exasperating day with friend Tiffany, involving lots of unwilling sharing, Jane's prayer went like this:  "Dear Lord, thank you for my day with Tiffany.  But tomorrow God, please don't let her whine!"

submitted by Marilyn Roberts

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During a summer meeting with my 5 year old son's new Kindergarten teacher,  the teacher said to him - "Do you know what this color is?"  (Holding up a tan colored marker.)   My son answered, "No..."  The teacher replied, "This color is called Tan."  Then my son perked up and delightedly answered, "Oh yeah, my mommy wants to get one of those!"

submitted by Michelle Jones

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When my daughter Michelle was 4, we were watching a program on TV and they were dancing the Macarena, and she tells me, "Mommy, I know how to do that!!  Watch me do the MACARONI !! "  What ever the dance was, she could do it, and I had tears running down my face.

submitted by Lisa Collins

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My daughter is in her first softball season.  One of my friends asked her what position she liked playing best, pitcher? catcher? 1st base? My precious little Danielle just looked at her with a smile on her face and said "Batter" ~ gotta love that little angel!

submitted by Veronica Craig

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My stepdaughter, Melissa, is the kind of person who blurts out the first thing that enters her mind. One day, when she was about 11, my wife and I were helping her make a model volcano for class. We were up to our ears in plaster and paper maché. As is often the case, Patty and I disagreed on a certain procedure so we were giving poor Melissa conflicting directions. Finally she threw up her hands in frustration and said, "Please! Two horses can't teach a calf!" It made perfect sense to her, but my wife and I are still trying to figure it out.

submitted by Ed Price

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When out for dinner with my son one evening we had ordered a very flaky apple strudel for dessert.  He eyed it appreciatively before taking a bite.  A questioning look came into his eye as he said "This is really good, Mom, but why do they serve it with cardboard?"

 

submitted by Mary Beth, NJ

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These submissions were contributed by our readers and compiled by the editor. Please do not copy this content but feel free to link to the entire page! :o)