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Socialization
of the Home Schooled Child
One
of the most often heard arguments against home schooling deals with the
socialization of home school children. Is this a valid argument?
We
first considered home education a few years before our eldest son was old
enough for school. Although I have a degree in elementary education and an
advanced degree in special education and am currently certified in the state
of Virginia, we realized that our child's future hinged on whatever decision
we made concerning his education. Since I had taught in a classroom setting
for a couple years and substituted in various educational settings, I felt
confident in my ability to teach, but uncertain as to whether I could actually
teach my own son. Was home education the best choice for him? Did the
advantages of home schooling outweigh any disadvantages?
We
knew that no teacher, no matter how exceptional she may be, could love our son
more nor understand his strengths and weaknesses like we do. As former
teachers, we recognized the value of individualized instruction as well as the
impossibility for the classroom teacher to offer this attention to all
students. The classroom teacher must tailor her instruction to the majority of
the class. Those on the low and high ends of the intellectual scale are often
bored, frustrated, and left to flounder on their own. Most schools offer
special classes for the gifted or special needs child, but often these classes
are not enough. (I know because I taught in the special education setting for
a couple of years.)
Many
home schooled students test exceptionally well on standardized tests, often
exceeding the scores of public school students. Many go on to earn college
degrees and even advanced degrees. (We know a home educated student who is
earning his doctorate this year.) Just recently, the top finalists for the
National Spelling Bee were home schoolers. Over the past several years, the
public has become more receptive to home education as it has grown at a
phenomenal rate, and thousands have found home schooling to be the answer for
their children's educational needs.
But
what about socialization? Do home schooled students learn how to get along
with other children and adults? Are home schoolers lacking in socialization
skills? When our family decided to home school, these were the objections we
faced most frequently.
Last
summer, before starting formal schooling, the local television station
interviewed our family to find out why we had chosen to home school. One woman
from our neighborhood organization seemed shock by our decision to home
school. "How are your kids going to learn to get along with others?
Doesn't it bother you--sheltering your children from the world?"
We
wish we could shelter our children from the world, but despite keeping our
sons out of the school system, we still are not sheltering them from the
world. Unless we moved to a monastery or some forlorn island or cave, they
will always be in the world.
We
cannot take our sons out of the world, but we do choose to shelter them from
the world. Our children are too young to face the world on their own. The time
will come all too soon when they must enter the world. We are training them to
be strong and courageous, to do what is right even when no one else stands
with them.
We
believe that God has given us--not society, the educational system, or even
the church, the responsibility to rear our children. Too many parents seem all
too eager to abdicate their responsibilities to others.
Are
our children deprived since we choose to home school? No! They are learning to
interact with each other, their parents, friends from church and yes, even
neighbors. Our sons are learning to interact with older people, since we have
some older neighbors, and we visit a retirement center once a month. They
enjoy shopping excursions, field trips to local museums and educational sites
and are learning to converse well with those around them.
We
know of no home schoolers who sit around all day. Many are quite active in
their communities, and since home schooling offers flexibility, many volunteer
their time for worthwhile causes. We know many home school families through
our membership in two local home school organizations, and have yet to meet a
student who is lacking in social skills. Most have exceptional socialization
skills because their parents make the extra effort to ensure that their
children develop appropriate skills in dealing with other people.
Home
educators have more control and can be more selective in choosing whom their
children associate with than parents whose children attend a regular school.
It seems that young children especially are greatly influenced by their peers
and teachers which can lead to an undesirable peer dependency. Children who
are free from peer pressure are more likely to develop into self-confident
independent thinkers.
We
want our children's heros to be their parents, grandparents, and men and women
of God. True, there are exceptional teachers who would be excellent role
models for our sons. Yes, We will make mistakes, and we may even
unintentionally neglect an important area in their education. Home schooling
is not always easy, but we do not regret our decision to home school. We
treasure this extra time with our children and plan to home school for as long
as possible.
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