Socialization of the Home Schooled Child by Rachel Keller

We first considered home education a few years before our eldest son was old enough for school. Although I have a degree in elementary education and an advanced degree in special education and am currently certified in the state of Virginia, we realized that our child's future hinged on whatever decision we made concerning his education. Since I had taught in a classroom setting for a couple years and substituted in various educational settings, I felt confident in my ability to teach, but uncertain as to whether I could actually teach my own son. Was home education the best choice for him? Did the advantages of home schooling outweigh any disadvantages?

We knew that no teacher, no matter how exceptional she may be, could love our son more nor understand his strengths and weaknesses like we do. As former teachers, we recognized the value of individualized instruction as well as the impossibility for the classroom teacher to offer this attention to all students. The classroom teacher must tailor her instruction to the majority of the class. Those on the low and high ends of the intellectual scale are often bored, frustrated, and left to flounder on their own. Most schools offer special classes for the gifted or special needs child, but often these classes are not enough. (I know because I taught in the special education setting for a couple of years.)

Many home schooled students test exceptionally well on standardized tests, often exceeding the scores of public school students. Many go on to earn college degrees and even advanced degrees. (We know a home educated student who is earning his doctorate this year.) Just recently, the top finalists for the National Spelling Bee were home schoolers. Over the past several years, the public has become more receptive to home education as it has grown at a phenomenal rate, and thousands have found home schooling to be the answer for their children's educational needs.

But what about socialization? Do home schooled students learn how to get along with other children and adults? Are home schoolers lacking in socialization skills? When our family decided to home school, these were the objections we faced most frequently.

Last summer, before starting formal schooling, the local television station interviewed our family to find out why we had chosen to home school. One woman from our neighborhood organization seemed shock by our decision to home school. "How are your kids going to learn to get along with others? Doesn't it bother you--sheltering your children from the world?"

We wish we could shelter our children from the world, but despite keeping our sons out of the school system, we still are not sheltering them from the world. Unless we moved to a monastery or some forlorn island or cave, they will always be in the world.

We cannot take our sons out of the world, but we do choose to shelter them from the world. Our children are too young to face the world on their own. The time will come all too soon when they must enter the world. We are training them to be strong and courageous, to do what is right even when no one else stands with them.

We believe that God has given us--not society, the educational system, or even the church, the responsibility to rear our children. Too many parents seem all too eager to abdicate their responsibilities to others.

Are our children deprived since we choose to home school? No! They are learning to interact with each other, their parents, friends from church and yes, even neighbors. Our sons are learning to interact with older people, since we have some older neighbors, and we visit a retirement center once a month. They enjoy shopping excursions, field trips to local museums and educational sites and are learning to converse well with those around them.

We know of no home schoolers who sit around all day. Many are quite active in their communities, and since home schooling offers flexibility, many volunteer their time for worthwhile causes. We know many home school families through our membership in two local home school organizations, and have yet to meet a student who is lacking in social skills. Most have exceptional socialization skills because their parents make the extra effort to ensure that their children develop appropriate skills in dealing with other people.

Home educators have more control and can be more selective in choosing whom their children associate with than parents whose children attend a regular school. It seems that young children especially are greatly influenced by their peers and teachers which can lead to an undesirable peer dependency. Children who are free from peer pressure are more likely to develop into self-confident independent thinkers.

We want our children's heros to be their parents, grandparents, and men and women of God. True, there are exceptional teachers who would be excellent role models for our sons. Yes, We will make mistakes, and we may even unintentionally neglect an important area in their education. Home schooling is not always easy, but we do not regret our decision to home school. We treasure this extra time with our children and plan to home school for as long as possible.