A Woman's Road to Motherhood - Part 3

Back to the Beginning Again
 Copyright 2001 by Meredith Agius

Devastated as we were, we were determined to find meaning in the tragedy that just befell us.  For some reason, immediately the following words came to mind for the obituary notice.  “Crawford came softly into our lives, fulfilled all of us in so many ways, and drifted out too suddenly”.  The service was beautiful.  

Somehow, the Lord gave us the courage and words to speak as we talked about our brief life with our son.  The priest gave a wonderful homily that clearly summed up the feelings that we had about our life with Crawford.  He spoke of Dale Evans and Roy Rogers who lost a young child, and had indicated that they had been entertaining an “Angel Unaware”.  This was taken from Hebrews 13:2,

“Be not forgetful to entertain strangers; for thereby some have entertained “Angels Unaware”

The emptiness was too real, and I was 38, two years older than I was when I finally got pregnant.  How would we rebuild?   We knew the joy that we had as a family, and wanted to rebuild as quickly as possible.  We took the bold steps to not only proceed with further Infertility Treatment, but to also walk the path of adoption at the same time.   We had no ideas of the road ahead. 

In researching adoption, we looked at the Internet.  On one site we looked at we found photos of children from all over the world who were available for immediate adoption.  There was ONE face that jumped off the page at us.  It was that of a little boy named Yakov.  The life force that emanated from him drew us to his inquiring and alert face.  When we looked at the personal details, we knew that God was going to send us to Russia.  His birthday was the exact same as our little Angel’s. It was a message from God that life would go on with a child from there.   We knew, however, that this was not the little boy that we could ever get, as we had not even started the paperwork and interview process, but we knew where we had to go. 

So onward through the stacks of paperwork and long series of interviews we went.  We could not proceed with the infertility treatments until the government approved our application, because, if they knew that fact, it would likely cause our application for adoption to be rejected.   We were looking for a little boy, but again, God would have other plans for us.  

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